Think you can’t write a family story? What if I told you it’s not as hard as you think? Let me show you the easy steps to writing a family story.
Step One: Choose A Character
As I’m writing this, Father’s Day is in just a few weeks. I think I’ll choose my dad as the character for my story. He’s no longer here on earth with us, so all of my stories about him are at least nearly 25 years in the past. But the impact that his love and example had on my life run deep within me, so he’s an easy subject.
So, who will you choose? If you want, the story could be about you, too!
Before you decide what story from your character’s life you want to write about, jot down 4 or 5 things about that person that will help you to shape your story. This is a great way to settle your mind on that person and also will give you ideas for new stories. Don’t forget to write those ideas down for another time.
Step Two: Choose just one event, experience or day
As you are learning to write family stories, keep it simple, simple, simple. Just choose one event or day that comes to mind when you are thinking about your character.
I’m choosing to write about trips to the hardware store with my dad which I absolutely loved. Then I’m going to compare that with the one and only time my Dad took my son, his first grandchild, to the hardware store. When he was 3 years old. You can just imagine the chaos.
Step Three: Write Without Thinking Too Much
This is the secret sauce to writing family stories, my friend! You’re not writing a book report in 8th grade or a corporate email. And it’s entirely up to you whether anyone else reads this. You are writing for you right now.
This type of writing is supposed to be emotional, heartwarming, and maybe even a little bit sad. But above all else, writing about the special people in your life should be easy.
These are YOUR memories. What if you get a detail wrong? Who cares! These are YOUR memories. If you choose to share these stories with family members, just put this disclaimer at the top of the page:
“I’ve written this story based on my own experiences and memories. If you remember it another way, then let’s add your story with mine to create an even greater collection of memories.”
Step 4: Keep It Short… For Now
As you are learning to more easily write family stories, it’s always a good idea to start small in the beginning. Set a goal of 3 to 5 paragraphs. The paragraphs don’t have to be long – just a few sentences. This will give you the momentum you need to get started without being too overwhelming
Step 5: Put Away Your Excuses
I spend a lot of time thinking of ways to encourage people to write down their family stories, and I think I’ve come across many of the same excuses that you might have.
For example:
“I don’t have time.”
Truth: It’s been said that we make time for the things that matter most to us. No guilt trip intended. I just want you to consider how wonderful it will be to have some stories written down.
“I’ve always been a terrible writer so I’m too embarrassed to try to write a family story.”
Truth: Nobody cares if you think you are a bad writer. That’s probably just something you heard in a classroom anyway. By academic standards, you might not have been an A-level term paper writer, but that’s not what this is. Give yourself the gift of capturing memories for yourself and for your family.
“I don’t have a computer. My computer is too slow. I don’t have the right software. Etc.”
Truth: Pen or pencil and paper will work just as well. Then when you have access to a computer, you can type up what you wrote. The important thing is that you captured the story while it was still fresh in your memories.
“Nobody cares about my memories.”
Truth: The beautiful truth here is that these are your memories, your experiences, your life. There is a special magic in writing about the past. There may even be some healing there, too. Again, you are writing for you. Share if you want, but get the story out for yourself first.
Time to Get Started
Ok, friend. Let’s get going with a story. Grab your pen/pencil and paper, laptop or tablet, or sit down at your desktop computer and write your story.
If you are interested, scroll on down to read my story about the hardware store. It makes me smile and I hope it will remind you of a special story from your family.
Happy writing!
“Bob And Kids In The Hardware Store”
One of my favorite things to do with my dad was to accompany him on a Saturday morning trip to the hardware store. In this little girl’s mind, Bob Davis could fix or build anything. I know that wasn’t actually true, but I like remembering him this way. In truth, though, he was always working on something on the weekends because I believe it helped him to unwind from a busy work week.
So, off to the hardware store we would go. Our hardware store of choice was Smith-Vaughan Hardware Store on Race Street in Searcy, Arkansas. We arrived and before I could even leave the car, Dad said, “Don’t touch anything.” I was a tried and true rule follower, so obviously I didn’t. While Dad shopped for nails, screws, tools or whatever it was he needed for that day’s project, I wandered around the store, eye-balling everything in sight. But not touching. Because that was the rule.
But I still loved being there with him. I loved the smells and the way the mostly men in the store talked with one another like they had been friends their whole lives. I still love hardware stores to this day.
Fast forward about 25 years, and Dad asked my 3-year-old son, his very first grandchild, if he wants to go with him to the hardware store. Of course, the answer is “Yes!” and off they go. I already know that my firstborn child will want to put his hands on everything because that’s just the way he likes to explore his world. But having heard the stern “Don’t touch anything” from Dad so many times, I have no doubt that this warning will be spoken before they go into the store.
About an hour later they walk back into the house and surprise! Evidently, Dad didn’t find it necessary to give any instructions before they went inside. Now all he could say was, “I was busy looking for what I needed, and next thing I know I found him digging around in a bin of loose screws. He was trying to touch everything in the store.” This is what happens to a man who raised two little girls. He just had no clue what fun (and mischief) little boys could get into.
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