Your family obviously knows who you married, and also might have divorced, but do they know how you fell in love in the first place? Because relationships change so much over the course of time, I believe it’s important for your descendants to hear the origin stories to add to what they know of you now.

Besides the importance of such stories, this might just be the best time to go back and reminisce of being young and falling in love.

Here are some nudges and guidance to help you tell your descendants the love stories from your life.

Telling Your Love Stories

The story of your marriage and other romantic relationships is one of what I consider to be 5 starter topics to write for your family story collection. My mission is to help as many families as possible curate their family stories. 

My focus is always on trying to remove any obstacles and hindrances that are holding you back. I know it’s hard to start and sometimes you just need a nudge. To help with this, I’m giving potential family story collectors 5 important stories to write for future generations. 

I’m giving you what I call the Big 5 – Personal Faith, Love Stories, Births, Career and – last but not least – Pets. Read more about the Big 5.

Let’s take a look at how to write and curate those epic stories of love relationships from your life.

Choose the Love Story You’ll Tell

Before you start, it might be helpful to decide what relationship story you’ll be telling. If you’re in a lovely decades-long marriage or other relationship then this is a no-brainer. Tell it with all the beautiful details that it deserves.

Or, you may have multiple relationships that you want to write about. They all certainly hold value in your family history.

But, what if you’re no longer married to your partner but you share children and grandchildren?

For me (because this is my personal case), I’ve decided that this love story still needs to be told. First of all, the memories of how your marriage ended more than likely overshadow anything else.

Secondly, I just want my descendants to see that you can build a life with someone that may not last  forever, but still begins with love for one another. Out of that love can come children and grandchildren that you both get to love and enjoy.

Who Are You Writing For?

Choosing which love stories to write comes down to considering who you are writing these stories for. Obviously you’ll be the first beneficiary of reminiscing and giving words to your past. But you are also writing and curating for others. 

Because time is always a hindrance in the family story writing process, my advice is to just choose one story to tell for now. Choose first the love relationship that will bring the most understanding to your children and grandchildren. 

via GIPHY

The “Meet Cute”

You’ve chosen the love story you’ll tell. Now it’s time to start at the very beginning.

In the movie The Holiday there is a delightful conversation between Iris, Kate Winslet’s character, and Arthur Abbott, played by Eli Wallach. In the movie’s story, Arthur was an elderly, legendary Hollywood screenwriter. Iris sees him walking on the street near where she is staying looking confused. Although strangers, she invites him into her car and gives him a ride home.

While talking a few minutes later about how they met, Arthur said “This is our meet cute.” He explains to Iris that a “meet cute” is a film plot element for how couples first meet. He gives the example of a couple who meet up when trying to buy the same pajama set in a department store.

Now you may not have had an epic Hollywood “meet cute,” but you did have to have a first meeting, right? Think back to how you met your significant other.

Story Suggestions
Did you or someone else set up the first meeting with your future love or was it random? Did you like them instantly or did it take a while to be attracted to each other?

How Your Love Grew

Most relationships have plenty of ups and downs as they grow. Tell your descendants how you chose to become a couple and how that life together developed.

Story Suggestions
Talk about how decisions you made or circumstances you experienced affected the growth of your relationship. When did you realize that you wanted to spend time exclusively with each other? Did you break up and stay apart for a while and then reconnect? Or was your life together easy from day one?

The Decision to Build a Life Together

In today’s U.S. culture, engagements can be as well-planned as the Hollywood movies Arthur Abbott scripted. But for most of us who got engaged 30 or 40 years ago it was just a special, intimate moment between two people in love.

But that doesn’t mean the moment you decided to spend the rest of your lives together isn’t a significant life event that deserves some sentences detailing it for your descendants. This story still needs to be captured and curated.

Story Suggestions 
Because your daughters and granddaughters have grown up hearing and seeing hundreds of romantically staged engagements on social media, you owe it to them to at least describe the details of your own. What did you wear? Where were you? Were you caught completely off guard? Did you or your love get down on one knee? Was your family hiding nearby to rush out and congratulate you or was it just a private moment between you two?

Big Moments of Your Life Together

After you have told the story of the launch of your life together then it’s time to fill your story with the big moments that you had together. Of course many of these will be wonderful – children, vacations, homes, family get-togethers, etc. – and there will also be heartbreaking moments of loss and disappointment. Try to honestly write about both to give your descendants a full understanding of how you navigated the highs and lows of life together. 

Story Suggestions
While writing about the big moments of your life together, be sensitive to revealing details that might cause harm, embarrassment or shame. In these cases you can tell a story in broad strokes to protect those who might be harmed by revealing intimate details.

Your Life Together Now

You can wrap up your story by telling your readers where your relationship ended up and why. If you’re still married while writing this story, you might want to just write a few sentences about what being married for a long time means to you personally. 

But, if your marriage ended like mine did, this is a good place to give your descendants an honest understanding of your relationship after marriage. In my opinion, writing about this really isn’t for your grown children, but more for your grandkids as they grow older and wonder why their parents’ own parents weren’t married to each other anymore.

Story Suggestions
There’s no need to be dramatic when writing about the current state of your relationship unless there are some profound reasons for sharing those types of details. Hopefully, you can find some bright spots no matter the status of your relationship. 

Now it’s time to sit down with your laptop, pen and paper, or maybe your phone’s voice memo app opened up. Start reminiscing about your love relationship(s) and give your descendants an honest recounting that will bring them greater insight into your life and that of the person you love or loved.

Next up in the Big 5 – Births.